Sunday, November 27, 2005

Indian traffic survival guide

Article written by a Dutchman visiting India. A little long but worth reading.

For the benefit of every Tom, Dick and Harry visiting India and daring to drive on Indian roads, I am offering a few hints for survival. They are applicable to every place in India except Bihar, where life outside a vehicle is only marginally safer.

Indian road rules broadly operate within the domain of karma where you do your best, and leave the results to your insurance company. The hints are as follows: Do we drive on the left or right of the road? The answer is "both". Basically you start on the left of the road, unless it is occupied. In that case, go to the right,unless that is also occupied. Then proceed by occupying the next available gap, as in chess. Just trust your instincts, ascertain the direction, and proceed. Adherence to road rules leads to much misery and occasional fatality. Most drivers don't drive, but just aim their vehicles in the generally intended direction.

Don't you get discouraged or underestimate yourself except for a belief in reincarnation; the other drivers are not in any better position. Don't stop at pedestrian crossings just because some fool wants to cross the road. You may do so only if you enjoy being bumped in the back.

Pedestrians have been strictly instructed to cross only when traffic is moving slowly or has come to a dead stop because some minister is in town. Still some idiot may try to wade across, but then, let us not talk ill of the dead.

Blowing your horn is not a sign of protest as in some countries. We horn to express joy, resentment, frustration, romance and bare lust (two brisk blasts),or just mobilize a dozing cow in the middle of the bazaar. Keep informative books in the glove compartment. You may read them during traffic jams, while awaiting the chief minister's motorcade, or waiting for the rainwater to recede when over ground traffic meets underground drainage.

Occasionally you might see what looks like a UFO with blinking colored lights and weird sounds emanating from within. This is an illuminated bus, full of happy pilgrims singing bhajans. These pilgrims go at breakneck speed, seeking contact with the Almighty, often meeting with success.

Auto Rickshaw (Baby Taxi): The result of a collision between a rickshaw and an automobile, this three-wheeled vehicle works on an external combustion engine that runs on a mixture of kerosene oil and creosote. This triangular vehicle carries iron rods, gas cylinders or passengers three times its weight and dimension, at an unspecified fare. After careful geometric calculations, children are folded and packed into these auto rickshaws until some children in the periphery are not in contact with the vehicle at all. Then their school bags are pushed into the microscopic gaps all round so those minor collisions with other vehicles on the road cause no permanent damage. Of course, the peripheral children are charged half the fare and also learn Newton's laws of motion enroute to school. Auto-rickshaw drivers follow the road rules depicted in the film Ben Hur, and are licensed to irritate.

Mopeds: The moped looks like an oil tin on wheels and makes noise like an electric shaver. It runs 30 miles on a teaspoon of petrol and travels at break-bottom speed. As the sides of the road are too rough for a ride, the moped drivers tend to drive in the middle of the road; they would rather drive under heavier vehicles instead of around them and are often "mopped" off the tarmac.

Leaning Tower of Passes: Most bus passengers are given free passes and during rush hours, there is absolute mayhem. There are passengers hanging off other passengers, who in turn hang off the railings and the overloaded bus leans dangerously, defying laws of gravity but obeying laws of surface tension. As drivers get paid for overload (so many Rupees per kg of passenger), no questions are ever asked. Steer clear of these buses by a width of three passengers.

One-way Street: These boards are put up by traffic people to add jest in their otherwise drab lives. Don't stick to the literal meaning and proceed in one direction. In metaphysical terms, it means that youmcannot proceed in two directions at once. So drive as you like, in reverse throughout, if you are the fussy type. Least I sound hypercritical, I must add a positive point also. Rash and fast driving in residential areas has been prevented by providing a "speed breaker"; two for each house. This mound, incidentally, covers the water and drainage pipes for that residence and is left untarred for easy identification by the corporation authorities, should they want to recover the pipe for year-end accounting.

Night driving on Indian roads can be an exhilarating experience for those with the mental make up of Genghis Khan. In a way, it is like playing Russian roulette, because you do not know who amongst the drivers is loaded. What looks like premature dawn on the horizon turns out to be a truck attempting a speed record. On encountering it, just pull partly into the field adjoining the road until the phenomenon passes.

Our roads do not have shoulders, but occasional boulders. Do not blink your lights expecting reciprocation. The only dim thing in the truck is the driver, and with the peg of illicit arrack (alcohol) he has had at the last stop, his total cerebral functions add up to little more than a naught. Truck drivers are the James Bonds of India, and are licensed to kill. Often you may encounter a single powerful beam of light about six feet above the ground. This is not a super motorbike, but a truck approaching you with a single light on, usually the left one. It could be the right one, but never get too close to investigate. You may prove your point posthumously.

Amen !!

Video: traffic (not even close to the situation in Bangalore)

Saturday, November 19, 2005


Tonight : India-South Afrika.

Cricket is the most popular sport in India. Matches always gather large crowds of excited supporters and the game is played by many people in open spaces throughout the country.

Cricket is a bat-and-ball game played between two teams of 11 players. Created in England, the game had become well established in India by the middle of the 19th century.

A cricket match is typically played on an oval-shaped field, at the centre of which is a rectangular pitch. A game is divided into periods called innings. The teams switch between fielding and batting at the end of each innings.

During an innings, the “batting team” tries to score as many runs as possible and the “fielding team” plays defence. The fielding team spreads out across the field, except for the bowler who faces the striking batsman at opposite ends of the pitch. The target behind the batsman is called a wicket.

A run is scored by the striking batsman hitting the ball with his bat, running to the opposite end of the pitch and touching the crease there without being dismissed. The batsman is dismissed if 1) the bowler succeeds in hitting the wicket or if 2) the ball, after being struck by the batsman, is caught by the fielding team before it touches the ground.

A new bowler is designated at the end of each over (set of 6 balls). The innings is complete when 10 of the 11 members of the batting team have been dismissed or a set number of overs has been played.

In limited overs cricket, winning the game is achieved by scoring the most runs. In Test cricket, it is necessary to score the most runs and dismiss the opposition twice in order to win the match.


-New academic research claims cricket is not English, but was imported by immigrants from northern Belgium. More here.
-India won the 2011 ICC Cricket World Cup.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Family time in Bangalore

Taken from the back of a motorcycle... Good, helmets are not compulsory!

Sunday, November 06, 2005


I went to my friend’s aunt to apply the Mehendi. I had my hands done by his cousin who knew the basics. The key to success: be patient! The result was quite orange due to my skin color.

Mehendi usually denotes the application of henna as a temporary form of skin decoration. This usage is popular in the Middle East, North Africa and South Asia. It is usually drawn on the hands and feet.

Henna paste is generally applied to the skin using a plastic cone or a paint brush, but sometimes a small metal-tipped jacquard bottle used for silk painting is used. The final color is reddish brown and can last anywhere from two weeks to several months depending on the quality of the paste.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005


“Diwālī or Dīpāvali (also transliterated Deepavali; Sanskrit: row of lights) is the Hindu Festival of Lights. For Jains it is one of the most important festivals, and beginning of the Jain year. It is also a significant festival for the Sikh faith.

Diwali is one of the most popular and eagerly awaited festivals of India. The date of Diwali is based on the Hindu calendar, which has solar sidereal years and lunar months. It is celebrated for 5 consecutive days in the Hindu month of Ashwayuja which usually corresponds to the month of October or November. Hindus, Jains and Sikhs celebrate Diwali and use the occasion to celebrate life and strengthen relationships.

Celebrations focus on lights and lamps, particularly traditional diyas. Fireworks may also be associated with the festival in some regions.”

Diwali was celebrated on the campus on November 1st. For this special occasion, most students (including exchange students) were wearing traditional indian clothes.

Putting the saree on, wearing the bracelets, earings and bendi, adjusting the saree, trying to walk, adjusting the saree again… Took me a while to get ready.

The evening was all about stick dances, crackers and fireworks. I then went for a ride on the bike with my boy, still wearing the saree. Back earlier than expected due to heavy rain. Ended up in another student’s room to play cards.

The tradition of gambling on Diwali has a legend behind it. It is believed that on this day, Goddess Parvati played dice with her husband Lord Shiva and she decreed that whosoever gambled on Diwali night would prosper throughout the ensuing year.

The continually changing rules (mainly in Hindi) and the lack of luck made me lose every single game. What is the saying in French? Heureux au jeu, malheureux en amour!